Her last episode ... Ashlee Crabbe confronts Tim Robards about his true feelings on The Bachelor.
I've been asked so many times that I've forgotten the real answer as to why I went on The Bachelor.
I think if any of us contestants are being completely honest with ourselves, wanting to get our mugs on TV had to be a small part of why we entered. Looking for true love … really? I think the odds are higher of finding a match on a dating website than the 25:1 ratio in The Bachelor mansion.
It's hard to not be swayed from your morals when producers are asking you leading questions, I think I did OK.
For me it was a kind of social experiment. I've found myself single at 25 with no real experience at dating, and I wanted to see if I actually could open up and hit it off with someone. Turns out no, I couldn't!
Looking for a real date ... model and former Fairfax journalist Ash Crabbe.
While filming The Bachelor, all the 'Bachelorettes' lived together around the clock in a mansion that looked like it was from the set of The Bold and the Beautiful. For our part, we were dressed by Channel Ten stylists only when the cameras rolled for the rose ceremony.
If you didn't get invited on a date, you didn't leave the house. So being cooped up inside is all that viewer's have seen of me for the past two weeks; it's enough to drive anyone crazy. Perhaps my unwillingness to talk emotionally on camera, or most likely because I avoided saying complimentary things about Tim Robards (“Where did those muscles come from?”, “I love your suit today Tim”) meant I didn't get invited on a date between Episode 3, where we went to the sand dunes, to last night's Episode 6, which was also the night I had to say goodbye to the house.
While the premise of the show is for Tim to get to know our real personalities, you have to fight for the small amount of time with him to ensure that happens. There are a lot of conversations with Tim that haven't been aired; he'd speak to girls individually at the cocktail parties for example.
Elimination time .. The Bachelor's Tim Robards clearly doesn't like direct questions.
In these moments, you do feel a little like it's a job interview or a speed date. With cameras in your face.
I would constantly be unsure of how much to say, not wanting to embarrass myself or give friends watching any fodder to pay me out for the rest of my life.
Entering our final night in the house, Alana, Belle and I were aware we'd had the least interaction with Tim. I knew personally I wasn't feeling any romantic feelings toward him. Despite wanting to stay on to have fun with the girls in the house, I wasn't comfortable sitting back and letting Tim dictate where I was going for the rest of the competition.
Call it the feminist in me, but when Tim pulled me away to chat prior to the rose ceremony I felt I had to ask him if he had any genuine interest in getting to know me. When there are so many other amazing girls in the house willing to kiss Tim or do whatever they can to make good television, I don't blame him for bypassing those who are more reserved, like myself.
In the real world, if I felt a guy wasn't interested in me then I wouldn't really waste my time romantically pursuing him. Unfortunately The Bachelor really is what it seems, a bunch of girls hanging out in a house waiting for a man to give them permission to leave. What the audience doesn't see is how much fun we have as a group living in the house. For myself and I'm sure some others, that was the true prize worth fighting for and the real reason we'd dread the rose ceremony.
You can't take being eliminated from this show personally. I believe many of those eliminated could have been the kind of person who Tim would have hit it off with in the 'real world'. However they weren't playing the game in the right way. On my last night, Tim said to me that he needed girls on the show who could talk to him easily on camera and make him feel more comfortable. I know I didn't do that.
Did I have a game plan going into the show? Not exactly.
My main aim was not to look completely and utterly desperate and to come out looking somewhat articulate. I am proud that I managed to do that throughout filming. It's hard to not be swayed from your morals when producers are asking you leading questions, I think I did OK.
I am enjoying watching the show and seeing what the girls say about Tim in their alone time to camera. Anna was one I didn't ever hear say how sexy she thought Tim was, but watching the show she has certainly said it to the camera. I guess that's playing the game smart.
I don't for a second regret going on the show. I loved filming, and have made amazing friendships and had a lot of fun. It was an endless slumber party. I wish all the remaining girls all the best, and look forward to seeing what plays out in the coming episodes.
There's a few girls left that I couldn't see Tim dating in the real world. Of those left, Emily and Anna would be the two who I think Tim would be most interested in if they met in a bar.
*Ashlee Crabbe worked for Fairfax Media from 2010-12.