Beating the 'negative enablers'
I once knew a lady who went through a six - or seven - month period of profound self-assessment. That assessment included her health and, inextricably, her weight.
Which is where I came in.
She was six months away from getting married and, being a very driven individual, she put herself up in a hotel for a week so she could train with me every day. She was clearly on a mission to reinvent herself at all costs.
She didn't mess around in her workouts, either. She trained hard, ate well and went home a few kilos lighter. I knew she had "got" it. Nothing was going to stop her from realising her goal, and by the time she got married, she was smokin' hot and insanely happy with her new self. Mission accomplished.
Er, not quite. The mission had been accomplished, but there was some collateral damage. Her husband didn't like this version of his new wife, the one who got up on Sunday mornings for a jog and ate fresh food and salads. He preferred the old version, the one who would spend Sunday mornings queuing at the patisserie, working out whether to buy two almond croissants or three. Or maybe four.
She was healthier and happier, and looking amazing. She was also a challenge to him, someone in the house who was taking a positive stand for themselves. The situation was compounded by the fact that he still resided in Slobsville and was feeling a touch threatened.
Two reactions then took place. First, he attempted to sabotage her efforts by trying to make her eat the same crappy foods that he was and discouraging her from training. It didn't work and they split up as a direct result of his actions.
The next reaction would also be fascinating if it wasn't so sad. She went on a prolonged binge and ended up 45 kilos heavier than she was when she came to train with me.
What makes it even more sad is that I see this scenario a lot. Instead of attracting encouragement for rediscovering a healthy body, people frequently cop criticism, or they're quietly sabotaged by the people whom they thought were close to them, people supposedly with their best interests at heart.
If you've been in this position, be selfish - put yourself first.
Some people are negative enablers. They create an environment in which it's easier to give in to bad, tempting choices, and harder to do the right thing. It's still sabotage - just a subtle version of it.