Rihanna wears a pretty amazing gold choker and Chris Brown sports a bad-taste tattoo at a basketball game in December 2012. Photo: Getty
Rihanna says she couldn't bury her feelings for Chris Brown, but admits their track history isn't the "cutest puzzle".
"I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that ... But I got real with myself, and I just couldn't bury the way I felt," the singer told the latest issue of Rolling Stone.
"I decided it was more important for me to be happy, and I wasn't going to let anybody's opinion get in the way of that. Even if it's a mistake, it's my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I'd rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.
"When you add up the pieces from the outside, it's not the cutest puzzle in the world."
Rihanna says she has a much calmer relationship with Brown now.
The 24-year-old star believes they have both learnt a lot and have matured since they first dated. She also understands why people are concerned about her choice to take Brown back.
"But it's different now. We don't have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about [stuff]. We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don't want to lose that," she said.
"It makes me feel great to know that people care. I guess it's just something that will show with time. There's nothing I could say that would convince you right now. But we're in a great place. And I can't ever see us going back."
Rihanna says she won't tolerate being badly treated again by Brown.
"Listen, I'll tell you right now: I don't have to take it. If he gives me that again, here's what I give him: nothing. I just walk away ... I can't say that nothing else will go wrong. But I'm pretty solid in knowing that he's disgusted by that," she said. "Wait. You think I'm here to rehabilitate Chris? No, no, no. That is not my purpose. Trust me...
"There's so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life. He's not the monster everybody thinks. He's a good person. He has a fantastic heart. He's giving and loving. And he's fun to be around. That's what I love about him - he always makes me laugh. All I want to do is laugh, really - and I do that with him."
- via Cover Media