US women's soccer star Alex Morgan, featured in the upcoming FIFA 16. Photo: EA Sports
As the upper tiers of their sport crumble under the revelation of rampant systemic corruption, football fans are freaking out over another wild development: EA Sports' FIFA 16 game has finally introduced female players, and boy-nerds are very angry about it.
The games publisher released the first official trailer for FIFA 2016 overnight, dropping the bombshell on unsuspecting douche-bros: for the first time in its 22-year history, the game features playable female footballers.
Twelve women's national teams are featured, including star players like Brazil's Marta, USA's Alex Morgan, England's Steph Houghton, and our very own Matildas.
"To be one of the first female players included in the game is something we'll always be able to look back on and be proud of," England captain Houghton told Sky Sports from Canada, where the world's best national teams are currently preparing for the Women's World Cup, which kicks off next weekend.
"Hopefully it will help raise the profile of the women's game even further," she added. "Quite a few of us play FIFA... I'm looking forward to scoring as myself for the first time!"
Sadly, the response from many male gamers was predictably obnoxious:
Why are women on Fifa 16? They can't play football— Romi (@romi__p) May 28, 2015
Why the fck would people want women of fifa 16 hahaha what's the point— Zach (@ZBarrigan) May 28, 2015
Women being on FIFA 16 is a clear example of equality gone wrong.. The standard isn't as good as the conference so why one and not the other— Samuel Martin (@SmuelMartin) May 28, 2015
So now there's gonna be women's football on FIFA 16, why do women have to interfere with everything we do?!— Steve (@StevenDiickens) May 28, 2015
Why is women's football on FIFA you don't see men trying to get there way onto NETBALL 16 do we?— ITK Hector (@ObviouslyHector) May 28, 2015
If I'm beaten by a women' team on FIFA 16 i might as well kill myself— yomi (@Iam_vigo) May 28, 2015
Women in Fifa 16? Nice I guess but why would you ever play them unless you wanted to handicap yourself?— TheGreatCornholio (@modemez) May 28, 2015
Thankfully, at least some Twitter users were quick to point our their fellow gamers' stupidity:
Looking at the FIFA 16 trend and it seems all women do is get pregnant and have periods, thanks for the update Twitter— Annie (@AnnieLBravo) May 28, 2015
Imagine being upset that theres women in FIFA 16. Bunch of dinosaurs— ㅤ (@ynwagram) May 28, 2015
There are men complaining about women's teams finally being included in FIFA 16 & not complaining about the ACTUAL #FIFA corruption scandal.— Tom Taylor (@TomTaylorMade) May 28, 2015
Really Fifa, women's football in 16 yet no Latvian 2nd OR 1st divisions??? This is why feminism is destroying our culture!— Peter (@PeterMarfleet) May 28, 2015
Playing with women on FIFA 16 is the only action some of you will get so dunno why you're complaining tbh— nath (@lNathLord) May 28, 2015
And that is what's known in internet circles as 'sick burns'. Deal with it, nerds.
The game hits stores in September.